


Lopsided

by hottag



Category: All Elite Wrestling, Being The Elite (Web Series), Professional Wrestling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Hand Jobs, I went all the way with this, Insecurity, M/M, Nick is confused, Nick is desperately in love with Matt, Post-Full Gear, Sibling Incest, they wash each other's hair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21910933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hottag/pseuds/hottag
Summary: Kenny wants to talk to Matt, alone.Without Nick.Nick feels something strange inside his chest, as if someone were reaching in and squeezing - squeezing hard - putting pressure on his heart and lungs and everything inside him.(The Young Bucks go all the way from California to Winnipeg to check on Kenny after Full Gear.)
Relationships: Matt Jackson/Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson/Nick Jackson, Matt Jackson/Nick Jackson/Kenny Omega
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	Lopsided

**Author's Note:**

> I love Nick and I regret nothing, people should show more love to him.
> 
> This is not for everyone, so please read the tags and if this is not your thing press the back button.

Nick follows Matt through Kenny's house and up the stairs. It looks a lot bigger than he remembered from last time. At least this time he's actually invited -although it was more like Matt was invited and Matt assumed Nick would be joining him. And, well, Nick did want to come, but he kinda would have liked his own personal invitation.

When they come to the door to Kenny's bedroom, Matt knocks softly before opening the door and going inside. Nick timidly follows behind. He's utterly aware of the fact that the last time he'd opened this door, this exact door all those months ago, it had been to see Kenny fucking Matt up against the wall - something that had changed things between all three of them forever.

Except, had it?

He was always close to Matt in a way that made Nick confused when he was a teen, walking on the edge of being siblings and something else messed with his head, they have a very strong bond and kissing each other from now and them had been thing since Nick's memory started shaping, now their kisses are not aimless and innocent, now they jerk each other off from now and then, Nick even hopes they go farther than that, it's so wrong but the twist and wrongness of it is addicting, despite all that Nick still feels like he isn't exactly essential in the bigger scheme of things when it comes to Matt and Kenny.

He sighs, watching as Matt drops their bags and starts to head over to where Kenny's relaxing on the bed. It's nice to see Kenny, of course, especially since they were concerned when the news had come out that he is not clear to wrestle this week. The man in question looks disgruntled, wearing a tank top and pajama pants, having been in bed all day trying to take the pressure off his back.

"No, no, no," Kenny says, pointing at Matt and stopping him in his tracks. "You probably smell like the plane. You know I hate that." He ignores Matt's pout and smiles at Nick. "Both of you are showering before you get anywhere near me."

Nick leans against the door jamb. "Do you want to join us?" he says, heart hammering in his chest, feeling a bit daring suggesting it. He always gets nervous when he tries to initiate things with Kenny, never knowing exactly where they stand. He bites his lip and tries to look alluring, fluttering his eyelashes while tilting his head back and stretching his arms over his head.

Kenny's eyes look amused as opposed to aroused, but they stay focused on Nick's face. "Fuck," he says, raising an arm behind his head. "I'd love to," he says, "but my back is just..." He grimaces. "I'll have to skip this one." He starts to rake his eyes down Nick's body before looking back at Matt, who has stepped towards the bed. "Don't you dare, gorgeous," he admonishes, smiling.

Matt drops to his knees beside the bed. "Not even a kiss hello?" he says softly, tilting his head to the side and curling his fingers in the duvet. Nick watches as he leans forward and rests his elbows on the bed, pushing his ass out attractively. And if Nick were bolder, he'd follow Matt's lead, crowding up beside the bed, reaching out and sliding a hand up Kenny's thigh.

Kenny reaches a hand out towards Matt as if he's going to caress his face, but at the last second he flattens his hand and nudges him backwards, pushing him away without much strength while laughing. "Not even!"

Nick smiles, watching as Matt sighs dramatically, pouting first at Kenny before looking sulkily over his shoulder. Nick just shrugs at him and blows him a kiss. "You heard him, babe. Shower first."

Kenny's laugh dies down, looking at Matt consideringly before his eyes dart back over to Nick.

"Speaking of... Why don't you go get the water started," he says, nodding towards the bathroom.

Nick blinks at him, not understanding, watching as Matt turns back to Kenny. He can't see the look on Matt's face, but then Matt turns back towards him and gives him a soft smile. "Go on. I'll be right there, Nick," he says, looking warmly at Nick before facing Kenny again, hands back on the bed. He inches closer to Kenny.

And then Nick gets it.

Gets that Kenny wants to talk to Matt, alone.

Without Nick.

He feels something strange inside his chest, as if someone were reaching in and squeezing - squeezing hard - putting pressure on his heart and lungs and everything inside him. It's tight, everything is tight, like there isn't enough room for air, there isn't room for anything. He can feel the blood rushing through his ears, drowning out all the sounds around him. And now he isn't saying anything and they must both be staring at him, both waiting for him to leave, to go to the bathroom by himself.

Both probably wondering what on earth is wrong with him.

He blindly looks in their direction, seeing but not really seeing, as he desperately tries to control his face, trying to keep his panic from revealing itself. "Of course," he forces out, somehow calmly, eventually taking a quiet, shaky breath. He walks over to the bathroom and goes inside, pulling the door shut behind him to give the other two some privacy. He's never been in Kenny's bathroom and shouldn't really know what to do, but it's almost as if his body is on autopilot. He walks the length of the room, opens the shower door, and turns on the water.

It's hot when it comes on, Kenny's shower fancy enough that Nick doesn't even have to wait for the water to heat up. He uncaringly flicks his fingers through it, droplets splashing up his arm and threatening to get his shirt wet. Then he backs away, wishing the water had been cold, wishing he could have run it over his wrists and spilled it across his face.

He tries to take another breath. But nothing loosens, nothing changes, and his body starts trembling, heart thudding frantically. He can feel his face flushing, body trying to function without oxygen, heat spreading over his skin, pins and needles piercing every inch.

It's not a big deal that Kenny wants to talk to Matt. And it's not a big deal that Matt just sent Nick away. They could have things to talk about. Private things that don't concern Nick. It's probably nothing to do with him.

He moves in slow motion over to get some towels out of the cabinet. There's one in his hand when he gets a little lightheaded.

What if it is about him? What if Kenny's changed his mind? And he doesn't want Nick in the picture anymore? What if he's decided he can take care of Matt by himself? And this whole threesome idea was just a silly experiment?

What if Matt agrees?

Nick feels his world tilt.

He drops the towel he's holding, fingers limply releasing the cloth to grasp at nothing. His legs grow weak under him, and without meaning to, he sits down right there on the floor. The tile is cool beneath his hands and legs, sending a shock to his burning skin. But it gives him little relief, and he tugs his t-shirt off desperately-sweat beginning to bead all over his body. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling like he's been doing sprints, and curls up into a little ball - trying to find comfort, trying to calm down as the room spins and his stomach churns.

It's not enough.

He wants to pound his fists against the floor in frustration, wants to scream at the top of his lungs, wants to throw up all over that lovely cream colored tile.

But instead he does none of that.

He turns on his hands and knees, pressing his forehead to the floor as if in prayer, taking deep shuddering breaths to keep from passing out. But he doesn't pray. He can't. Not about this.

His fingers half claw at the floor, nails scratching at nothing, hands just opening and closing, spasming and twitching-his body not knowing what to do.

When the need to scream bubbles up again, he bites at the fabric of his shirt, teeth clenching viciously. Gold spots are dancing across his eyes and he stifles a sob before squeezing them shut. He keeps everything in, doesn't cry out, doesn't scream.

For a moment he just stays on the floor.

Nick doesn't know for how long.

But the bathroom door stays closed.

And he remains alone.

Eventually steam from the hot water begins to fill the room, fogging up the shower and the mirrors, and misting lightly over Nick. He shivers, the sweat on his body cooling rapidly and the tile feeling hard beneath him. With effort, he sits up gingerly and leans back against the cabinets. His shirt falls from his teeth and lands next to him on the floor in a heap. He picks it up and twists it through his fingers, tilting his head back and banging it deliberately against the wood.

Then he does it again.

It hurts a little, but not nearly as much as the thought that maybe he'll lose Matt and Kenny, not even close to how much his knee still hurts.

The room's no longer spinning, but Nick's vision starts to blur so he reaches a hand up to his eyes. His fingers come away wet, and he merely blinks slowly, looking at his hand, surprised the tears took this long to come. He shakes his head and stands up, kicking off his shorts, briefs, and sandals.

They land harmlessly near his shirt and the dropped towel.

He almost doesn't give them a second thought.

But they look wrong - scattered throughout Kenny's pristine bathroom - like they don't belong.

Nick numbly picks up his clothing. He doesn't know why. Everything's dirty, and they're just going to go in the laundry when he gets home. After all, he's not going to wear them again - he brought more than enough clothes to wear. But still, he folds the shirt and shorts mindlessly, tucking the briefs in between before setting the pile on the counter. Then he sets his sandals next to each other and places them alongside the cabinet. One shoe is crooked, and he nudges it with his toe until it's straight, trying to make them orderly, trying to make them seem right.

They still look wrong. Still look out of place.

He doesn't pick up the towel, achingly tired all of a sudden, afraid if he bends down that he won't be able to stand back up. Naked and shivering, he stares into the mirror. His reflection is mostly obscured from the mist, and out of habit, he reaches out and draws a heart onto the glass. His finger glides smoothly through the fog, his heart appearing easily, even if it's a little lopsided. As some of the fog disappears, he can finally see himself clearly in the clean lines he's created.

He doesn't like what he sees.

Angrily, he almost swipes the heart away.

But he stops himself at the last second, hand hovering over the mirror.

He can't do it.

No, he won't do it.

Instead, he stands there, watching as the heat from the shower slowly causes the mirror to fog up again. His heart starts to disappear, growing fainter and fainter, until soon it's hidden completely. As the steam swirls around him, Nick tries to convince himself he can still see it. Through his tears and the wet fog, he pretends his heart is still there.

Still there, if one knows where to look.

He wonders if anyone will.

He shakes his head and turns to the shower. It's clearly too hot, the air still thick with steam. His first instinct is to just get in - to let the water burn him, let it scald him, turn his skin red and give him blisters. He could pretend it was an accident, pretend he didn't understand how Kenny's shower worked. He watches the water beat against the shower door, steam still rising, and wonders.

It would hurt.

It would hurt a lot.

His fingers twitch on the door handle, half a second from opening it and sliding in. But he hesitates.

He's tired of hurting.

He sighs, opens the door, and adjusts the temperature to a more normal one. Then he slips into the stall, letting the water pour directly onto his face in an attempt to wash his tears away. It doesn't really work. But there's still something soothing about standing directly underneath the shower head, even if it's tough to breathe as the water rains down on him. He breathes in through his mouth, blowing out water when it runs over his lips.

He's not in there long when he hears the bathroom door open and shut, signaling Matt's finally deigned to join him.

Nick sighs, not really knowing exactly how much time has passed since he entered the bathroom, but he's sure it's been awhile. Which means that Kenny and Matt had a lengthy conversation.

Nick flattens his palms against the wall and tips his head to soak his hair, figuring he should probably act like he's been in the shower for a while too.

The stall door opening sends a chill through the steam, but Matt's quick to close it and then press up against Nick's back. Nick holds back a groan, loving the feel of Matt's slim body against his. "Sorry, that took a bit," Matt murmurs, kissing Nick's shoulder and wrapping tan arms around Nick's belly. His lips move to Nick's neck, slowly dropping kisses over the wet skin. "Did you wash your hair yet?"

Nick leans back into Matt's embrace, arching into Matt's kisses. "Mm, not yet," he says, closing his eyes. His hands smooth over Matt's arms. "Everything okay?" he asks, trying not to seem too interested, but at the same time hoping Matt will have some reasonable excuse that will put Nick's mind at ease.

And then Nick will laugh at how he got worked up and had a panic attack over nothing.

But Matt exhales against Nick's neck, his fingers stroking Nick's stomach. Then he nudges him to the side. "Ah, yeah," he says nonchalantly, ducking his head under the water to wet his hair. He reaches for a bottle of Kenny's shampoo and squirts some into his hand. Nick opens his eyes and watches, shivering slightly now that he's not directly under the water. "It's just, well," Matt says, rubbing his hands through his hair, scratching roughly as the shampoo foams up, “we’ll talk about it later. How's your leg?" 

Nick feels that squeezing pressure inside of him again. He watches the soap run in rivulets down Matt's chest, before numbly taking the bottle of shampoo and adding a little to his own hair. "Oh, it's okay not as bad as broken ribs," he says, waiting for his turn under the water, shutting his eyes again, trying to will the tears not to come. He leans against the cold tile, feeling goosebumps spread over his skin. He can hear Matt rinsing the shampoo out and afterwards the squirt of what he assumes is conditioner. Then Matt's hands are on his hips and he's being maneuvered back under the water.

"Sorry Nick," Matt says, running his hands up and down Nick's arms to warm him up. "You'd think Kenny's shower would be bigger, hmm?" he says, amused, expecting Nick to laugh. When Nick doesn't reply, Matt hums and starts to massage Nick's scalp. "I love your hair." he murmurs, gently working the shampoo into a lather. 

Nick keeps his eyes shut as Matt begins combing his fingers through the long strands, and then carefully draws his head back under the water to rinse. They’ve done this handful of times, washing each other’s hair. At any other time Nick would probably really enjoy the feeling, but right now he's too depressed, and all he can think about is how this might be the last time he's ever with Matt like this.

That makes him open his eyes in a hurry.

Because if it's the last time he's ever allowed to be with Matt, well, he's certainly going to enjoy it.

When he blinks the water out of his eyes he sees Matt's smiling tenderly at him, eyes bright although clearly tired. And Nick can't help smiling back-no-grinning back.

Because it's Matt. 

And despite everything, despite having no future together, despite their relationship being illegal Nick is still so desperately in love with him.

So he puts everything else out of his mind, ignores everything - except the fact that Matt's with him, right here, right now.

He straightens up to his full height and Matt's hands drop from playing with his hair to lock behind his neck. Nick's own hands come to rest on the small of Matt's back, gently holding him close.

They're both shivering slightly now, each half under the water and half out of it, and Nick presses Matt closer until their bodies are molded against each other. "Matt," Nick whispers, sliding a hand up Matt's spine, up that slippery skin, before threading it in his long, silky, wet hair and tugging lightly.

Matt's smile disappears, his mouth falling open. "Oh," he whimpers, blood quickening and cheeks flushing as he starts breathing heavier. He licks his lips and rises onto his tiptoes, sliding a hand to cup Nick's jaw.

Nick tugs Matt's hair harder, pulling his head back and then dips down to kiss the long line of his throat. His other hand palms Matt's ass, cupping a plump cheek and squeezing. He loves Matt's ass, loves his skin, loves his body, he loves everything about Matt. Every time he sees him, talks to him, touches him, Nick can't help but get excited.

And for the first time that night, Nick's heart is racing for the right reasons.

Matt moans, jerking against him, eyes fluttering shut and pressing himself closer to Nick. Nick grins. He mouths Matt's throat, kissing and sucking, probably leaving marks, feeling Matt's pebbled nipples against his chest - and Matt's hard cock rubbing against his between their bellies. He grins harder as Matt begins panting and rolling his hips, creating a delicious friction between them.

Both of Nick's hands slide to Matt's ass, grabbing the firm globes, thrusting against him vigorously. It's not enough, and he presses Matt up against the wall. Matt gasps, surprised, and Nick takes advantage of his shock, holding his wrists up against the wall too, intertwining their fingers. The water's streaming down Nick's back, spurring him on, as he grinds against Matt frantically, mindlessly, urged on by Matt's dark eyes and breathy moans.

He's so focused on staring into Matt's eyes, watching as those eyelashes flutter with every twist of his hips, that it takes him a minute to notice that Matt's lips are turning purple. Nick frowns, seeing that Matt's teeth are chattering a bit as his body trembles. "Are you..?" Nick asks, breathlessly, slowing his thrusts and letting go of Matt's hands. His cock throbs between them.

Matt laughs, wrapping his arms around Nick's neck immediately. "I'm sorry," he says, hugging Nick to his body. "The wall's so fucking cold," he says, smiling, still shaking. He plasters himself against Nick and wiggles, seeking his warmth.

Nick winces, feeling Matt's chilled hands cling to him. The hot water's still pouring over his back and he tugs Matt forward until he's the one under the stream. Matt hums contentedly, tucking his face into Nick's neck and fisting his hands behind Nick's back.

Nick cradles his head, sliding a hand up and down his spine.

They're both still hard, but the mood has changed.

"Matt," Nick says, threading his fingers through Matt's hair. He pulls Matt's face out of his neck, smiling when Matt leans back and looks at him questioningly. "Mmm, give me a kiss, babe," he whispers, moving to smooth a thumb over Matt's cheekbone. He's a little ashamed of himself, having not kissed Matt yet - he having pushed him against the wall and rutted against him like an animal.

But Matt merely licks his lips and smiles sunnily before obliging, rising up on tiptoes again and pursing his lips.

Nick dips down to meet him. He brushes his lips against Matt's sweet ones, first lightly and then with more force as Matt opens under him. Matt moans into the kiss, and Nick in reply flicks his tongue into his mouth teasingly. Matt moans again, twisting his tongue to meet Nick's, both of them tasting the other.

It's heavenly.

There's no other word.

It always is, and Nick kicks himself for not kissing Matt sooner. His hands settle on Matt's hips, slowing the kiss down, moaning himself as their tongues dance. He never wants it to stop. He should be kissing Matt every minute of every day, kissing him until he falls asleep at night and then kissing him in his dreams.

Nick pulls back reluctantly - only to take a deep breath - and Matt arches up, panting, and tries to draw him back down. Matt's hands curl into his hair, trying to pull him, trying to reach him, trying to continue the kiss-just as desperate for it as Nick. Nick leans down towards him, his face hovering over Matt's, watching Matt's lips part in anticipation.

Matt's lips are no longer purple, thankfully, with the hot water raining down on Matt's back and finally warming him up. No, they're not purple. Now they're plump and red, enticingly shiny and swollen from Nick's kisses.

"You're so beautiful," Nick breathes, staring at Matt's flushed face, taking in his blown pupils and quivering lashes. Matt merely stares longingly at him in reply, tongue flicking out to wet his lips. And it's only seconds before Nick's dipping back down to meet him, to kiss him again, unable to resist Matt's tempting mouth for any longer.

Matt melts against him, moaning continuously, fingers still curled in Nick's hair. And so Nick devours him greedily, licks into him, swallows the gorgeous sounds he's making. He keeps his hands tight on Matt's hips until he finally decides to slide a hand down between them, over Matt's flat stomach to fist that thick cock. It's hot and heavy and leaking in his hand, slick with precome. And Nick knows if he were to look, it'd be angry and red, pulsing against Matt's belly, eager for relief.

Matt gasps into his mouth and Nick smiles into the kiss, starting to pump him. "Beautiful," Nick mumbles against Matt's lips, both of them breathing heavily as Nick jerks the throbbing length in his hand. He doesn't know if Matt even understands him - doesn't care either, but it's true, so he says it, and he'd say it a thousand times and it would still be true.

He continues to move his wrist, rolling and twisting, smoothing his thumb over the tip, hand slick and sticky as Matt whines and thrusts into his fist. Nick can't catch his breath, achingly hard, grinding onto Matt's hip. Matt's slippery, wet skin feels like silk against him and Nick loves it. They're both getting close, their movements starting to get faster, sloppier, both of them clutching the other frantically.

Matt's fingers yank on Nick's hair, breaking the kiss and tipping his head back. "Nick," he whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm-I'm," he says breathily, barely audible over the sound of the shower, mouth falling open as he spirals toward completion.

Nick urges him on, moving his hand faster and faster, listening as Matt's gasps become louder and louder until finally Matt cries out, burying his face into Nick's neck and spurting between their bellies. Nick strokes him through it, wringing every last drop from Matt, feeling the mess splash over his fist and cling to his skin.

"Nick," Matt whimpers, shaking, mouth hot against Nick's throat, "Nick," He pants into Nick's skin, moaning as he gradually comes down and becomes hypersensitive. "You-you didn't-," he says, clearly trying to catch his breath, trying to focus, hands releasing Nick's hair and sliding down either side of his neck. "Do you want me to-?" he asks questioningly, kissing the base of Nick's throat.

Nick shudders, rubbing on Matt's hip in earnest. He palms Matt's ass again, relishing in the feel of those firm cheeks. "Mm," he says, squeezing. "Stay just like this... I'm close." The pleasure's building inside him now, and he's barely aware that Matt's murmuring endearments against his skin. His movements become rushed again, cock sliding wetly against Matt, wriggling his hips until at last he grunts and spills between them.

He loses a minute of time, vision whitening out, lungs feeling like they're going to burst as that fiery mix between pleasure and pain burns through his body. When he comes back to himself, it's to Matt's voice whispering sweet nothings into his ear, while his hands smooth over his back. Nick takes a deep breath, his heart threatening to pound out of his chest, and threads his fingers through Matt's hair. "Mmm," he says quietly. "You still have the conditioner in."

Matt lifts his head and smiles, nodding. "And you still haven't used any," he says, licking his lips. But he allows Nick to spin him around and start rinsing out the product. The water in Kenny's shower is still luxuriously hot and Matt moans contentedly as Nick's fingers run through his hair. When Matt's hair is clean, Nick grabs a washcloth and begins soaping up their bodies, rubbing gently over Matt's chest and then his own - wiping away any lingering mess off their bellies.

His cock half-heartedly threatens to come to life again, but Nick ignores it. Much longer in this shower and he's going to become all pruny. Instead he finishes washing them, softly moving the cloth over Matt's body, tongue flicking out every once in a while to suck and kiss the clean skin - tasting water, soap, and something inherently ‘Matt’. Eventually he deems they're both ready to get out, and reaches over to twist off the water.

Matt blinks drowsily at him, water droplets clinging to his lashes and skin rosy from the hot water, before tugging Nick by the hand out of the shower. "I brought you some clothes," he says, gesturing toward the sink while picking up the towel Nick had left on the floor. He wraps it around Nick's hips and then walks across the room to grab another from the cabinet.

Nick reaches up to run fingers through his hair, openly admiring Matt's still dripping, naked form. "Thanks," he says belatedly, regarding the clothing, too distracted to reply right away. He's disappointed as Matt dries off quickly, throwing on a t-shirt and briefs from another pile on the counter. The briefs stretch teasingly over his plump ass and Nick has to clench his fingers into a fist to keep from reaching out and touching. 

Matt rubs the towel over his hair for a few more seconds and then straightens up. His face is red, and Nick walks over and pulls Matt up against him. He gives into temptation and slides Matt's t-shirt up so he can palm Matt's ass. 

He starts feeling that tightness in his chest again.

He pulls out of Matt's grasp. He forces himself to act normally, kissing Matt on the cheek and turning back towards the counter to start running his fingers through his hair again.

The fog on the mirror has started to disappear as the room begins to cool. Nick glances over to where he drew his heart. He squints a little. It looks like it's still there. No, it is still there, still lopsided, but still there.

Matt doesn't see it.

Matt doesn't even look.

Instead Matt hangs his towel up on a rack by the door. "Don't take too long, hmm?" he says, voice gentle as his hand brushes across Nick's back. Then he opens the door and leaves, shutting it quietly behind him.

Nick doesn't watch, keeping his eyes focused on his heart on the mirror, but he lets out a long breath once Matt disappears. His skin tingles from where Matt's hand had skimmed his back. It makes Nick want to storm out there and get down on his hands and knees and beg Matt - beg them - to let Nick stay.

His hands clench on the edge of the counter and he bows his head. His stomach is beginning to churn again, and he takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to hold it off. He monotonously begins to pull on his clothing. When he's fully clothed, he looks at himself in the mirror one last time, trying to steel himself.

This time, he doesn't look for his heart.

He hangs up the towel and exits the bathroom, flicking off the light and turning into the bedroom.

The cool air is immediately refreshing and he sighs in relief. Then he slows to a stop.

Matt's sprawled on top of Kenny, holding himself up slightly on his knees so as to not press his entire weight down. Their limbs are loosely entwined. Matt's arms are linked behind Kenny's neck, his lips nuzzling Kenny's jaw, while Kenny's hands languidly trail over Matt's back. It aches of familiarity. As Nick watches, Kenny slowly slides Matt's t-shirt up his back, a hand smoothing over Matt's skin while the other drifts down and rests on his hip. His brother whispers something into Kenny's ear, brushing a hand through the taller man's hair.

Nick forces himself to walk forward, pulse racing, wondering if this is it - if this is the moment that they say they're fine without him.

And then tell him to get out.

They're not mean, of course, and they're going to stay friend no matter what. Matt doesn't have a mean bone in his body, he's the ideal older brother that Nick is very grateful to have. And Kenny, Well, despite being friend with him for years he's never known Kenny as good as Matt, but he's never seen Kenny be cruel to anybody.

They wouldn't make him leave the house. They'd just make him leave the bedroom and sleep somewhere else, probably smiling and thanking him but being firm in their decision to go back to just the two of them.

As he gets closer, he sees that Kenny's eyes are shut. Matt turns towards Nick and smiles. "He took some pain medication while we were in the shower," Matt murmurs, resting his hand on Kenny's forehead before brushing it through his hair again. "It made him sleepy." Kenny hums faintly in response, eyes still closed, hand sliding slowly over Matt's bare thigh more instinctively than intentionally.

"Good," Nick blurts out, overwhelmingly relieved that this isn't happening tonight. His chest loosens, heart beginning to beat normally again.

Matt's brow furrows. "Good?" he repeats, looking at Nick questioningly.

Nick's mind works frantically, looking for a way to recover. "Good that he took something if he was in pain," he clarifies, biting his lip and walking around to the empty side of the bed. He slides in quickly, not wanting to rock the mattress too much.

Matt's expression softens. "Of course," he says, turning back to Kenny. He bends down and kisses the other man on the cheek, smiling as Kenny hums again and flexes the fingers on his thigh. "Alright, Kenny," he says quietly, "we'll let you sleep." When there's no reply, Matt smooths his hand through Kenny's hair one final time. "Poor baby," he murmurs, before carefully climbing off Kenny and settling into the middle of the bed.

Nick watches him, wanting Matt to cuddle up next to him. And he thinks he's getting his wish as Matt turns to him and leans in.

But Matt merely kisses him, a feather light touch on his lips. "Goodnight, Nick," he whispers, before turning on his side and facing Kenny again.

Nick bites his lip. "Goodnight, Matt," he says quietly. He stares at Matt's back, wanting to reach out and touch. But in the end, he curls his hand into a fist and doesn't. He continues to stare at Matt's back until his eyelids grow heavy, just unbelievably tired from everything.

His last thought, before he falls asleep, is that he wishes Kenny didn't have such a large bed.

Because maybe then, he wouldn't feel so alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> It was just something that I really needed to get out of my system, sorry if it was sad.


End file.
